We can always study more, obtain one more degree or certification, become a specialist in a new discipline, and make other attempts to increase our competency. Being skilled in whatever endeavor we pursue is a basic requirement if we want to succeed. However, practical knowledge may get you in the door, but good people skills are essential in moving you forward. And, they often determine the extent of your financial rewards.

Whether you are a teacher, a brain surgeon, an independent consultant, a law enforcement officer, or a homemaker, solid people skills will be one of the most empowering tools in your financial arsenal. Operating from a platform of poor people skills is an unprofitable path. It’s no secret that everyone prefers to do business and socialize with people they know, like, and trust. Let’s look at some practical ways you can become more likable.  As you review this list, consider which skills you need to hone and which ones you can be grateful that the grace of God has prevailed in that area of your life.

• Smile.  A smile will brighten your day as well as that of those you encounter. Smiling is a universal language that never requires an interpreter.  Of course, it’s no effort to smile when things are going well, but sometimes we need to smile even when things are not going well. Don’t wait for joy to generate your smile; let your smile generate your joy. Never forget that feelings follow behavior; you will feel better when you smile. So just do it! Why not start right now?
• Remember common courtesies. Say “Thank you,” “Please,” and “I’m sorry” to people in your personal and professional environments. Request rather than command or demand what you desire.
• Listen: Be intentionally silent for periods of times during a conversation and make eye contact, nod, and listen. Ask clarifying questions as appropriate without accusing or prying. Show genuine interest in other people. Be conscious of the number of times you say “I” during your conversations. Don’t allow the conversation to be all about you.
• Respect other people’s right to believe, act or dress differently. No need to be adamant about non-eternal matters or those that do not affect the quality of your life. Keep your disdain and critical judgments to yourself. Do you really think that expressing them will change someone?
• Don’t interrupt. Even if the person is long-winded. If you feel you need to interject a point, raise your index finger slightly as if to ask for permission to speak. If that doesn’t work, just try to jump into the conversation at the end of a thought.
• Be quick to serve others. Jesus cautioned His disciples, “The greatest among you must be a servant” (Matthew 23:11 NLT). Extend yourself to others as if you were serving God Himself—because you are! You will surely reap a positive reward.
• Be humble. Humility is not an affected demeanor; it is a mind-set. Don’t brag about your position, possessions, people you know, or places you’ve traveled. Doing so is a glaring indication of where you derive your self-worth from. Humility tops the chart as the most admired character trait; pride and arrogance are the most detestable.
• Resist envy. If a family member, friend, co-worker, or acquaintance makes a notable achievement or acquires something of value, just congratulate her; don’t compete or “hate.” And for goodness’ sake, don’t mention another person who has exceeded her achievement. It will surely be perceived as your subtle attempt to level the playing field. You may as well plaster a sign on your forehead that reads, “Envy Alert!”
• Make every effort to remember people’s names. A person’s name can be the sweetest and most important sound in any language. Recently I saw someone from our former church. By the grace of God, I remembered his name. He beamed as if I’d given him something valuable. Indeed, I had: significance.
• Always make the other person feel valued and appreciated. Do it sincerely and without hidden motives. Phoniness is more discernable than you think. Simply acknowledge or praise people’s small and large acts of service and accomplishments—especially your employees and family members.

We will look at additional ways to be more likable and to win with people in the next post… Stay tuned!

(This is an excerpt from my book, THE ONE-MINUTE MONEY MENTOR FOR WOMEN.)

When I think back on all the effort I put into trying to become self-confident, I realize that it was an exercise in futility.

Jesus himself declared that he was “overwhelmed” in the Garden of Gethsemane

Let’s continue the focus from Part 1, “EXAMINING YOUR BELIEFS ABOUT MONEY.”  We must courageously “peel the onion” and understand how our core beliefs define our financial behavior.  Consider these two beliefs that can hinder your ability to create abundance.

Negative Belief #4: “If I become wealthy, people will hound me for money.”

I hear the fear of saying no in this mindset.  Listen up!  God is not calling us to meet every need that presents itself. When individuals ask for money, I recommend that you simply get their story—directly or indirectly. Find out if your assistance will help or hurt them in the long run.

I’ve been guilty of enabling and thwarting the spiritual growth of people by not allowing them to reap the consequences of their irresponsible decisions. God may lead you to decline a request because He has a better plan for that person.

Replacement Belief: I always find great pleasure in helping those in need, and I will also exercise the courage to say no when it is the wise and appropriate response.

Negative Belief #5: “Wealthy people are not happy.”

Have you ever noticed that wealthy people usually have the same types of issues as regular people—interpersonal conflicts, physical ailments, deaths and tragedies, and emotional fears? Because rich people’s wealth gives them a higher public profile, we often attribute their woes to their money. It’s not the money; it’s called life. Don’t allow the erroneous assumption that wealthy people are not happy to serve as an excuse not to maximize your financial potential.

Replacement Belief: As a person with abundance, I will be as happy as I choose to be. The ball is in my court to stay connected to rewarding relationships and activities and to use my resources for good.

Bottom line? If you are a principled person before you come into abundance, you can resolve by the grace of God to maintain your standards.

God does not want the abundance he gives us to be a burden, but rather a blessing. The only way to achieve this is to embrace God’s will and His way of directing how you manage the resources He entrusts to us.